Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Can't Stop Crying...

My feelings....undefined...can't stop crying, can't concentrate on my works. I really want to go home I want to visit my sister Izzati. I miss her I want to be by her side I don’t want her to feel the pain alone. I am so sad so devastated but I have to be patient. My hubby have lots of work need to be settled and tomorrow I have class for the whole day (rasa nak batalkan kelas je, nak balik)…I call Dr. Firdaus my eldest brother, he say insyaAllah she still have time maybe not for years but she still can hold on…but my feeling my heart just asking me to go home and see her…must I wait for tomorrow ~sigh~

Ya ALLAH, Jangan lah engkau biarkan kakak izzati dalam kesakitan berilah kekuatan padanya, hilangkan rasa sakit dan kesengsaraan yang dia alami..engkau tabahkanlah hatinya

http://ainulilyaniabdulaziz.blogspot.com/search/label/Journey%20Of%20Life

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Undefined

Emmm still don’t feel sleepy, this is a weird feeling, hard to describe but surely it is not a happy feeling. But still I must be redha and see the goodness in it. Camne ye nak mula, maybe the right word is I’m feeling down, tp mama don’t want to have this feeling, sbb seolah-olah mama jealous dan buat kerja secara tak ikhlas. But mama can’t help it, I still question how those who got the ******** cemerlang was justified as doing a great job for last year. Yes I took maternal leave last year, but still there are those who took the same leave and got the ********, I am not saying I am a great employer but…ntahlah….well actually I work hard and put my full commitment in setting up three degree programmed for my faculty, I was in charge (coordinator) and wrote the document using my own word after doing some research. Since I become a lecturer in this institution I never had the lowest workload (hours of teaching per week), and those who’s workload less than mine got the ******** and they did’nt become the coordinator of any big project. All my colleague who help me in finishing the document got the ******** and I the person in charge didn’t get ********. Ntahlah, maybe the top management doesn’t even know I was the coordinator maybe they assume that the dean did the major job…ntahlah… I do not want to comment on this…Allah know the best and his fate is always perfect kan. Ada hikmah, mama kena bersyukur…don’t question just accept the fate and go on…keep in mind they all deserved it….REDHA….

Mama must not be unmotivated, just work hard and don’t give up. The boss acknowledgement is not that important. The most important thing is the approval and the acknowledgement by Allah. Mama must always keep in mind the word sincere in every job that mama does. Allah is your Boss, the angel on your shoulder is the top management that writes all the work that you have done. No worries Allah Maha Adil dan Maha penyayang.

Be grateful, mama have a wonderful husband, two charming sons that is so in love with mama and a loving family that will always support mama ....*wink*.... feel better already (^_^)

There is one good news, tonight I won the Best Dress Award. Mama malu sebenarnya, sebab memang mama rasa tak layak je, yelah baju mama sgtlah simple takde corak lgsg (jubah tak nampak figure lgsg)+ mama tak pakai makeup lipstick pun tak pakai just foundation + kasut tak bertumit tinggi (only 1 ¼ inch). Mama yakin sgt sure org tertanya camne lah mama boleh menang terutama staf bukan akademik yang memang sentiasa vogue. Baju cantik & mahal + badan slim & ramping (semua berkebaya) + makeup (eye shadow, blusher, lipstick dll) + kasut semua tinggi2 (2 inch++) *wink*


Simple je kan...Pelik tak?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Hello...hello

yes..this is muhammad khaizuran speaking



it's true, i'm still 1 year old




let us talk about business





ok..done (^_^)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tongue



Hai..my name is Muhammad Khairin, I am 4 month old.


This is my tongue

I love to play with my tongue (^_^)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Ada feeling ke?

Perbualan dengan my other half a.k.a abah:

Mama: Abang, andak tu dah ade girlfriend kot
Abah: yeke kenapa pulak?
Mama: Abang ingat tak yang dia bawak makanan yg girl tu masak balik rumah mak. Siap masa kita pi ******** girl tu ajak kita satu family datang rumah makan dinner takkan lah takde apa-apa
Abah: ala biasalah, dia suka masak2 kot pastu saja bagi kat andak
Mama: Setahu kita kalau a girl bagi makanan yg dia masak kat a guy, tu tandanya dia ade feeling, yelah buat apa nak masak beria utk someone, biasanya a girl akan bagi masakan dia kat org yang dia ade feeling je. Kalau dorang tak couple pun kemungkinan besar that girl ade feeling tu kat andak
Abah: yeke macam tu, dulu masa study ade je sorg girl masak untuk kita, siap ajak kita makan kat rumah dia lagi. Rasanya dia takde feeling pun kat kita
Mama: ala dia ade feeling tu kalau tak buat apa dia masak utk abang
Abah (sambil tersengih-sengih): yeke, tapi masa kita tak datang tu siap dia merajuk lagi...hehe
Mama: dia masak dan ajak abang makan kat rumah dia ke?
Abah: aah, suruh makan kat rumah dia..
Mama: abang pergi tak?
Abah: mula-mula tu malas nak pergi kita kan suka main, petang tu kita main squash, dia suruh datang pukul 6, kita main sampai pukul 7 pastu kita call lah dia kata tak jadi pergi, bila call dia tak angkat, banyak kali gak kita call tp still dia tak angkat macam merajuk je
Mama: dia ada feeling la tu, kalu setakat kawan buat apa nak sedih, kita relax je kalu kawan laki kita kata nak datang tapi tak datang, kalu dia special mmg kita akan sedih n merajuk, dia ajak abang sorg ke? coursemate dia yg lain dia tak ajak?
Abah: dia ajak kita sorg je kita pun terkejut, kita pergi gak tapi kita ajak kawan kita ramai-ramailah, makan free kan so ramai lah nak ikut….
Mama: ooo dia ade feeling tu, yelah siap ajak abang sorg je, kawan baik dia yang girls pun dia tak ajak ke?
Abah: tak, ade feeling ke kalau macam tu (senyuman makin lebar)
Mama: yelah…apalah abang blur..sian kat dia..sape abang?
Abah (sambil tergelak-gelak): ala segan lah nak cakap
Mama:ntah apa-apa ntah sejak bila la segan dengan kita…sape?
Abah:ala (gelak-gelak) dia dah kawin pun
Mama: ala sape, kita kenal tak?
Abah: tekalah, kita mana ade ramai kawan perempuan pun
Mama: ooo ****** ye
Abah: aah, tapi dia ade cakap..yang dia pun pelik sebab apa dia nak merajuk dengan kita sebab kita kan bukan BF dia..
Mama: ala dia bagi hint kat abang tu…abang je tak faham…apalah abang ni blur….sian kat dia…
Abah: dia minat ke (hehe..hehe) kalau perempuan masak untuk kita tu tandanya dia minat ye
Mama: maybe bukan semua kes macam tu…tapi kebanyakkannya dan kemungkinan besar macam tu lah..dia ade feeling kat laki tu…
Abah: ooo yeke…tapi pa dulu tak de pun masak2 untuk kita
Mama: ala kita tak yah masak pun, abang dah suka kat kita (^_^)

Tips for my sons: If you want to know about girls do ask mama your abah is kind of blur about these thing (^_^)…hehe

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Susun Semula

Setelah 3 tahun++ tinggal di kerteh, akhirnya mama dah menyusun semula perabot yang ada dalam rumah, ia bermula apabila abah meminta agar satu meja study ditempatkan di dalam bilik jadi meja yang diletakkan di depan dipindahkan ke dalam bilik tidur...actually mama tak berapa suka nak letak meja study kat dalam bilik sebab kalu boleh urusan keja dll jgn dibawa masuk bilik tidur tetapi memandangkan abah kena study hard for his coming assessment plus mama kesian tgk dia study kat lantai je jadi meja study dibawa masuk. Lepas dah bawa masuk meja study mama pun dapat idea untuk pindahkan perabot lain. Rumah yang sudah didiami selama 3 tahun perlukan perubahan suasana dan wajah. Ini lah kali pertama kedudukan perabot diubah, tahun pertama dulu tak diubah sebab abah ditransfer ke KL ingatkan nak berpindah ke KL tapi lepas abah lapor diri di KL bos bagitau yang abah kena attachment di kertih masa tu mama pun dalam early pregnancy tak laratlah nak fikir pasal perabot ni. Tahun kedua pula, dah ada abang khaizuran jadi tak sempat lah nak pindah-pindahkan perabot dapat mop lantai, bersihkan rumah dan lipat semua kain pun dah cukup bagus. Sekarang dah tahun ketiga, walaupun anak dah dua tapi dengan adanya bibik jadi sempatlah mama nak fikir camne nak cantikkan rumah. Alhamdullilah dengan pertolongan abah dan bibik keje mengubah suai rumah dapat dilakukan dalam masa yang singkat je..yay.. (^_^). Sebelum ni mama pernah dengar yang sepatutnya kita kena ubah kedudukan perabot once in a while supaya kita tak rasa jemu dengan rumah kita rasanya ada betul juga kata-kata tu lepas dah ubah susunan perabot mama rasa rumah 'kita' lawa je...seronok dan mood pun jadi baik. Siap abah recommendkan beli langsir baru lagi (^_^) . Alhamdullilah

Thursday, February 12, 2009

(^_^)

senyum...

setelah menjadi mama kepada dua anak ada satu perkara yang selalu buat mama tersenyum...

peristiwa pertama: sewaktu pergi buat facial...
tuan kedai: eh u tgh belajar ke dah keje
mama: saya dah keje
tuan kedai: keje kat mana
mama: keje kat tati
tuan kedai: tinggal kat mana
mama:kat rantau laut
tuan kedai: eh dah kawin ke?
mama:dah, saya dah ade dua org anak
tuan kedai:la yeke, nampak muda je cam student
mama:"(^_^)"

peristiwa kedua: di office, ade seorang lecturer baru datang nak berkenalan
lecturer baru: dah lama ke keje sini
mama: dah 3 tahun lebih
lecturer baru: dah kawin ke?
mama: dah, anak dah dua
lecturer baru: yeke nampak cam tak kawin lagi, cam muda je
mama: "(^_^)"

Peristiwa ketiga: sewaktu testing tudung di munawwarah
client yang tak dikenali: cam ni adik pakai tudung tu
mama: oo cam ni ye akak, kena pin kat sini ye
client yg tak dikenali: aah kan comel, adik belajar kat mana
mama: eh saya dah keje, anak pun dah dua
client yg tak dikenali: ye ke nampak muda je cam student IPT
mama: "(^_^)"

abah selalu je cerite kat mama yang org kata dia nampak muda n bujang lagi, kadang2 bila mama ikut dia...kawan ofis terkejut "eh luke, ko dah kawin ke?....abah sure tersenyum bangga kat mama....ala bukan abah je org cakap muda...mama pun org cakap nampak muda (^_^)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Hot mama

Am I a hot mama? a mama that have the perfect curve and dress up to date with a lovely makeup. Emmm i think I’m not in that category, well I just wear simple and comfortable clothes no makeup just moisturizer and foundation. I do wish I could be those mother in the magazine that looked perfect. Before I become a mother I love to dress up, most of my friend’s testimonial in friendster (komen sebelum kawin lah) says that I know how to dress well, always look nice bla bla. If they meet me now surely they will say that I have already loose my touch in fashion. Now I just wear my hijab as simple as possible or style munawwarah. Easier for me to breastfeed my baby and although my son dok tarik2 still it will look ok. If I pin and belitkan tudung by the time I turun dari kereta sure dah nampak cam monster...hehe...


simple je A mother of two

Yang buat mama berasa hati kebanyakan iklan, tv show dan majalah asyik highlight ibu-ibu yang cantik menawan...so memang jadi lumrah lah kan bila orang buat perbandingan appearance si ibu lawa (hot mama) dan ibu yang macam mama ni...huhu..takpelah yang penting bagi my other half a.k.a abah mama still nampak lawa n ok...selagi my other half tak komplen selagi tu mama boleh abaikan those tv show dll...but still mama akan jaga penampilan mama semampu boleh...Nak sejukkan hati, mama always say this to myself in 10 years time mama boleh bergaya balik...bila anak-anak dah besar (Ye ye je ntah2 masa tu ade anak kecil lagi (^_^))

Monday, February 2, 2009

My Heroes Milestone - January 2009

Milestone January 2009 – Khairin at 3month

Mastered skills (most kids can do)
Recognizes your face and scent, Holds head steady, Visually tracks moving objects

Emerging skills (half of kids can do)
Squeals, gurgles, coos, Blows bubbles, Recognizes your voice, Does
mini-pushup

Advance skills (a few kids can do)
Rolls over, from tummy to back, turns toward loud sounds, Can bring hands together, bats at toys


His weight dalam 7.6 kg…baby khairin again have mastered including the advance skills…WELL DONE my boy! Indeed he recognize mama and abah face whenever we look towards him he will get excited and make loud noise asking us to start a conversation with him (^_^). His head is very strong and steady able to hold his head high for a few minutes but when he get tired he will start to scream but both of my babies voice are very low not like mama who have a high tone voice. Khairin love to rolls his body from tummy to back pantang letak kat atas lantai terus je berpusing but dislikes doing push up (this is very similar to mama (^_^) …eczema dah semakin ok…suka gelak kuat-kuat bila abang gelak kat dia….love to smile and laugh…quite cool macam abang khaizuran (at 3 month)…jarang menangis hanya nangis bila ditinggalkan keseorangan atau bila lapar…he can sit upright by support…

Khaizuran at 3 month – (September 2007)

What mama can remembered is his weight is 6 kg and length about 60 cm…Yup he can sit upright by support…he always smile and laugh whenever I smile and talk to him…when I leave him alone while I’m doing the house chores he will coo by his own first after a while he will shout then cries..huhu…able to rolls his body from tummy to back but only did it a few time dalam 3 to 5 time…



January 2009 – Khaizuran at 19 month

Mastered skills (most kids can do)
Uses a spoon and fork, Runs, Throws a ball underhand, Enjoys helping around the house

Emerging skills (half of kids can do)
Understands as many as
200 words, Recognizes when something is wrong (e.g., calling a dog a cat)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

Washes and dries own hands with help, Points to picture or object when you call it by name, May know when she needs to pee

At this age khaizuran has master all skills that most kids can do…he loved eating by his own…able to use a spoon and fork…nowadays ¾ of the food on his plate will enter his mouth he also know how to drink by his own...with straw or without straw…he has mastered the skills of playing a ball since he was 16 month…but still on training for playing squash (abah really hope that he could play squash so that they could compete typical abah love sport and challenge people in beating him with squash (^_^)…yup nowadays khaizuran love to help mama in cleaning the house he love to play with the vacuum cleaner, love to clean the floor if he spill drinks, food etc..beside that he also love to help abah wash the car….habis basah sebenarnya lebih pada nak main air dari basuh kereta…for emerging skills understand more than 200 words…mama is not sure about this…sometimes he understand what abah n mama say sometimes not…no worry slowly lah..no pressure my dear (^_^)…emm recognizes when something is wrong…for this mama think khaizuran still unable to understand about the things that is wrong or right..he just understand the word NO and know when abah and mama disapproved his behavior…about washing his hands and dries it…he know how to wash his hand and face but don’t bother to dries them…if he see that his hands, feet, cloth or anything dirty he will say eeeee…and when his hand is dirty he will push me towards the sink and ask me to pick him up so he could wash his hand and face (^-^)..points to pictures yes he does that…especially if he know the person or thing that is in the picture…like cars..straight a way he will point to the picture and say CAR! CAR! CAR!...i am not sure if he know when he wants to pee but there is one time when he point to the toilet and I could not understand what he want so I just ignored him…then when I look back at him straight a way he pee in front of me…mama pun terjerit-jerit eh pee kat toilet jgn kat sini LOL…but surely he know if he want to do his other business (poo poo)…he will run away from mama and abah (hide behind the chair or door until he finished his business…if mama go and approach or ask him he will force me to go somewhere else…(malu sgt2 kalu tgh poo poo tu)…beside all the skills that have been mention this is the other significant skills that mama would like to highlight…Obsess on pushing things that have tire…especially stroller and cars (toys)…so in love with the word CAR… quite sensitive easily cried whenever people say NO to him…dah pandai nak minta perhatian n bermanja…easily get jealous whenever people give more attention to his little brother khairin…his vocab abah, mama, bik (bibik), adik, car, buah, banana, susu (u..u), nak, taknak, busuk, erak (berak), air, aeroplane, cat, jom, jalan, cocoter (helicopter), kasut, tangan, pokok…and love to imitate when people talks to him….able to give response when people chat we him but only by using his own language LOL…


Disember 2008 - My Heroes Milestone

This is a backdated update (^_^)...a memory in bringing up my heroes

Disember 2008

Age 18 month (www.babycenter.com)
Mastered skills(most kids can do)
Will
"read" board books on his own, Scribbles well

Emerging skills (half kids can do)
Strings two words together in
phrases, Brushes teeth with help, Stacks four blocks

Advanced skills (a few kids can do)
Throws a ball overhand, Takes toys apart and puts them back together, Shows signs of toilet training readiness

khaizuran has mastered the skills for most kids can do. Alhamdullilah mama have bought him four books and he loved all the books, when he plays with mama’s and abah’s books we could easily make him stop and ask him to get his own books…already he know how to scribble habis buku turbo machinery abah dia conteng….nasib baik sikit je…for emerging skills he only could stacks four blocks he unable to strings two words together yet..but no worry mama will tries her best to make this happened…about brushing his teeth sangatlah susah if mama help pun still dia gelak-gelak and reluctant to do so…about the advanced skills he able to throw a ball overhand…he loves playing with balls…whenever we go shoping if he see a ball he will tries his best to pursued us to buy the ball…so there are plenty of balls at home…he knows how to kick, fetch, throw and roll the ball…abah thought him how to play with a ball since he know how to crawl (6 month old)…he has’nt show sign of toilet training readiness yet….mama pun is not ready to train him yet…nantilah ye….

Khairin at 2 month

Mastered skills (most kids can do)
Vocalizes: gurgles and coos, Follows objects across field of vision, Notices his hands, Holds head up for short periods

Emerging skills (half of kids can do)
Smiles, laughs, Holds head at 45-degree angle, Makes smoother movements

Advanced skills (a few of kids can do)
Holds head steady, Can bear weight on legs, Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup)

My adorable baby khairin has mastered all the skill even the advanced skills…YAY! For my baby (^_^)…he love to gurgles and coo, very peramah this boy….laugh to chat with people pantang ada orang pandang dia terus ajak berborak…compared to his brother he seem more peramah (for now)…he is also quite chubby berat dia if not mistaken at this age he weighted 6.6 kg WOW!..sungguh besar anak mama…he is still being fully breastfeed by mama…know how to respond when his brother khaizuran laugh at him…so cute when they laugh together…a very calm boy did’nt cried when the doctor injected him…as cool as his brother khaizuran…alhamdullilah both of anak mama are strong and very calm after been injected by the doctor….



The first entry

This is my first entry...the beginning of the e-diary chapter...the writings is about my life as a wife, mother and a lecturer...this is only my personal experience, thought and views...the blog is created to capture my family memories....to write my journey in being a devoted wife to my other half...my ups and downs as a mother...my experience as a working mother and sometimes my thought about life....